People have said what love feels like to them, and they aren’t wrong. Love is the most terrible, terrifying, wonderful, painful, beautiful thing. It’s actually every feeling that can be felt. When you are in love, you feel everything, as if it were new. New love is nice, but new love is hard. And it only gets harder. You go places, you do things, and everything is different and new, and things that you did alone, you can now do together, and they aren’t weird because this person has the same interests as you. Everything will remind you of them if you are without them because you are so used to doing everything alone. When you are apart, you ache to be with them. It is a physical pain, and you feel it in your bones. When they upset you, or you fight, it is as if the very fibers of your soul are being torn apart, atom by atom. But when things are great, you are unstoppable. Love is always the same, but it is always different. Things will never be as they were the day before. Things change constantly. You sit and you think, and those very thoughts influence your tomorrow. You never know how things will end up. And if you do, you’re doing something wrong. One thing I have learned is to stop expecting things, and to stop hoping. Because nothing hurts more than having your hopes ruined and crushed. When you love someone, the slightest things will upset you. “You know I only like sugar in my coffee” or “Why’d you use my …?” Assumptions get the best of you. You love someone, and you feel whole with them. They are your other half, and you expect them to know everything about you. Every little detail. But the fact is, they don’t. And you get upset about it. People fuck up, and it’s easier to notice when it’s someone that you are so close to. Most people think that kind gestures mean more when they come from a complete stranger, and it makes sense because they have no idea who you are, you could be a serial killer and they just were nice to you for no reason. But honestly, the people that do know you, and continue to love you, are fucking fantastic. Truth is, no one is fucking perfect or nice all the time or always smells good or always looks put together. Truth is, you’re probably a shit person who has bad shit happen to you, either way, when someone loves you through all that, and they still just fucking do nice shit for you, and they love you, it should mean the world to you. It is so easy to take for granted because it happens all the time. And that’s where love fails. I dunno. I’m just dumb. If you read this, thank you for your time, because I am sorry that I wasted it.
My girlfriend ^^^
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